Terrorist Groups Dedicated to the Destruction of Our Way Of Life,

As Announced By Office of Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge

Pay-Per-View Resistance Front

United Declaration of Human Wrecks

Flag-Waving Nutcase Vanguard

Junior Varsity Al-Qaeda Faction

Shut Off The Television

Kyoto Take-Out Brigade

Blood-Brothers of Expanded Ridicule

The Career Advancement Assassins

Backbencher Reinforcement Jihad

Ariel Sharon

Unemployed Tree Surgeon Assault

The Roving Kissingers

Advance Guard of Yuppie Doom Screamers

The 8% Tippers

Mafiya Cell Phone Liberators

Northern Light Brigade

Los Angeles Police Department

Tripartite Mixed Tense

Harvard Educated Marketing Graduates

Urban Medical Diet Alliance

The Dawn of Clued Clarity

Limited Patience Revolutionary Axis

Popular Recipe Organizing Front

Gut Reaction Underground

Chainsaw Proletarians

Destroy The Fox News Satellite

Video Late Fee Guerillas

Clandestine Branch, United Dissenters

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Any information leading to apprehension of fascism will be given a fair trial before execution.

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(With thanks to the memory of Ambrose Bierce)

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- by Dave Patten

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