by J. Walter Plinge
Sept. 2002
 
 

Money doesn't grow on trees. It's way easier that that. You just print it. No muss, no fuss, no wait, no sweat. You can print year round without the pesky plant-and-harvest cycles, and the irksome Spanish-speaking farm labor. Just slap some ink on the paper and it's ready to spend. Magnificent. Just like Gracie and her checkbook.

Yes, yes, I know this system has its detractors. They are a bunch of Wet Blankets. Party Poopers. Now after a lax few decades, William Greider is starting to whine. He wrote in an article, "The End of Empire" in The Nation that the trade deficit is "nearly 25 percent of US GDP this year, or roughly $2.5 trillion" and that "within a decade, it would total 50 percent of GDP"

What a gloomy doofus.
The thing is that we in the US can buy over a $1 billion a day worth of real nice stuff with our free money and there's no reason to rock the boat now. Here's the stats:

          IN           WE GOT
          1995    $180 billion worth of neat stuff
          1996      184 b
          1997      198 b
          1998      298 b
          1999      372 b
          2000      409 b
          2001      etc. b
          2002      etc. b                     
The take so far:  $2,500,000,000,000
 

Greider says, "But Bush's greater vulnerability is about money. You can't sustain an empire from a debtor's weakening position -- sooner or later the  creditors pull the plug." Yeah? So what. We got guns; that's what they are for. The U.S. can now bomb Iraq and Syria with weapons built from the money generated by the oil we stole from them. Why wreck this game? It's the most fun since they invented litigation. If you don't want creditors to pull the plug, you just give the peasants more of what they want; bread and circuses. A snappy new currency would do the trick.
 

Why wreck it now? This is the biggest and the best con the world has ever seen. Here's how it works. You "lend" some South American country a couple billion. That is, you print up some money and "lend" it to them. Then you buy some spinach or uranium or copper or something from them, ... also with money hot off the press. Then they pay back the "loan" so you got your money back plus the spinach, uranium and copper plus interest. And then, with the interest you can buy their whole frikkin infrastructure. This is better than magic.

The world doesn't need Greider and his gloomy moral terpitude. What the world needs now is a more eyeable U.S. currency. What we need now is some Penthouse and Hustler Babes on our notes. We need Sandra Day O'Connor nude on a $100 bill !!!
 
 

What do you think?

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