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Synergy Writing Contest ~ Essay Entry

Lighten Up

Not Fiction, just a splash of reality.

........ I wrote this just so people would lighten up a little. Walking down the street the other day, I saw two people walking to their car which was across from a yard sale nearby. I asked them if they had come from the yard sale, and instead of politely replying: "Why no young, kind boy, we came from the building next to it" they decide to reply by staring at me like I had been hit by a truck, run over by rabid dogs, and hit in the head with a rock all at once.
...............!
.............WWWW
..............MMMM

Then {of course} all that happened. Anyway. What was funny about all this is that these people were fairly old. Ok, REEEEALLY old, and you'd expect at least the woman to be kind, but
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............................................
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Do you like video games? I do, so there. There's a new game coming out called Clive Barker's Undying which looks very very scary. The plot is that you, being the gigantic headed ego swelling unmuscular stupid idiot of a hero, go into a huge mansion haunted by the remains of a cursed family....blah blah blah........ the only thing that makes it scary is the fact that the sound effects keep you constantly on edge, waiting for that monster to appear, and what drives you to the brink of insanity???? I'll tell you. The fact that the monster NEVER COMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're left sitting in that dark dank chair, which is actually a really old leather chair, waiting for that sucker to come rip your face off, but guess what, IT DOESN'T......anyway.

........ I know at least half of the people who read this will know who Dennis Leary is. He's my idol. Not because of the fact that he drinks and smokes, yuch, but because of the fact that he knows what reality is. He once did a whole act on why not to do cocaine, crack, whatever, everyone's always saying there's a difference. I think he's a very smart person once he starts drinking the caffeine FREE Coke. Have you ever seen him in an act? He's walking around the stage, a leather jacket on over a sweatshirt, with his green shirt turned blue because he's sweating so much. But does he care? Don't think so. His trademark saying was: "I think I'm knockin, and i think I'm comin' in, I'm already in. I'm wandering around the house and guess what?I found your bellbottoms!

........ I wrote this so people would lighten up. Most of my funniest jokes can't be written because it's basically the tone of voice that makes it funny. This is nowhere near my best jokes. I've never had a script in my life and I do better without them, whatever topik pops up I can make a joke out of it, but when given time, I realize they won't like it and don't tell it, even though somewhere in the back of my head where all those weird thoughts go, all the thoughts you have about how cool it would be to fly, jump out a window, that joke is still there, and if you ever meet me, you'll find it.

..................................................................... Lighten Up.

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