by J. Walter Plinge
2001
Let's be honest: The problem with Saddam is he doesn't accept the U.S. Dollar as his One True Savior. For his heresy, the infidel must die. Stupid Bastard.
As we approach another Joyful Winter Spending Season, let's praise openly, and without embarrassment, our new religion.
Over the years influential people in government,
business have created a theology that is now being enforced by law. Its
creed may be labeled Avarice. Its deity is the U.S. Dollar; its dogma is
materialism; its theology is profit; its philosophy is consumption and
waste; its ethics are practicality and expediency; and its morality is
considered to be irrelevant.
Its Unshakeable Faith is a belief
that All Money should be created at will by an Elite
Ordained Clergy for their own benefit.
Immaculately conceived of financial power,
its Prophet, The Federal Reserve Corporation, was born on Christmassy December
23rd 1913 (we are now in the 86th year of our Lord). Its Crucifixion date
is 1929 when the market was mercilessly tortured by mysterious heathen
forces; its Ascension date is Aug 15,1971 when the Fed abandoned the gold
standard and, from the ashes, rose the Holy Spirit or "Floating Dollar"
Its Bible is the Wall Street Journal, which
preaches the dogma of the Chicago School of Economics; its Vatican is the
New York Fed Money Desk where all decisions about "money supply" originate;
its current Pope is the Infallible Reagan(omics) who washed his hands in
the Ecclesiastical font of trickle down; its most popular recent saint
is Saint Arthur Laffer who preached that the rich must not bear the cross
of social responsibility in the form of an equitable system of taxation.
Its Evangelists, who frequently speak in tongues
while forked, are the economists, ordained at wealthy white ivy league
schools; its latest miracle is the trade deficit, $2,500,000,000,000 (that's
trillion) worth of rubber checks accepted by an unsuspecting world, while
Russian, Asian and South American economies fell, sacrificed in the Holy
War of Deregulated Markets and Structural Adjustments; its Missionaries
are the World Trade Organization, the World Bank, International Monetary
Fund and the CIA, whose evangelical quest is economic colonialism; its
Mother Teressa is the Pentagon who nurses the feeble and impoverished military-industrial
complex with gifts filched from the collection plate of social programs.
It's apostle is the Swiss Riksbank which hands out counterfeit "Nobel"
prizes to economists.
Its Inquisition was against "socialism" in
Russia (while casting a blind ecclesiastical eye upon the socialism of
Japan, Ecuador, France and China, etc.); and its Crusades are on their
mission even today promoting weapons sales under the hawk-eyed guise of
Nato and the United Nations. The butchery will soon begin in earnest because
the Infidels who refuse to accept the U.S. Dollar as the one true God,
must be vanquished from the face of earth. Like Iraq, Iran and North Korea.
Its Churches are the corporations and multinationals
whose Senior Clergy chant the mantra of Globalization before the altar
of stock options. The church's acolytes are the young virgin MBAs; its
choirs sing hymns of deregulation, the politically correct word for economic
anarchy; its Purgatory is the golden parachute; its Mecca is offshore trusts
and tax shelters; its prayer are that of self promotion, celebrity and
self aggrandizement held in the scenic Chapel of the Boardroom; from its
Holy Grail pours forth inflation; its liturgy are newspeak, disinformation
and spin; its vestment is Armani; its tithe is brokerage commissions and
if one has sinned by being poor: taxes. Its deacons are the FBI and ATF,
heavily armed with magic bullets; its Old Testament is imperialism and
gunboat diplomacy; its New Testament is the cheaper more subtle Free Trade
as written in the books of GATT, NAFTA, FTAA, WTO and GATS.
The Laity are the Young Spenders and True
Believers who forsake all free and independent thought: the Pepsi Generation,
MacDonald's MacWorld, and the Nike Kickers of Butt, baptized at infancy
and in perpetuity with the Holy Water of Commercial Messages; its Sacraments
are lottery tickets and Jerry Springer; its Catechisms are competition,
conformity, meritocracy, the Rule of Law and the "work ethic," indoctrinated
at the Convent of MediaWorld by clerics practiced in Trends, Fads, Novelty,
Trivia, and the Disneyfication of history and reality.
The most frequently mourned Martyr of the
Church is the unattainable child labor (the world is not ready for "A Child's
Right To Work"); its Devil is reason; its False Prophets are creativity,
intelligence, and independent thought; its Original Sin is dissent and
its Mortal Sinners are activists of all shades: anti-war, environmental,
political accountability, and anti-exploitation/social equality; its Evils
are the truly independent media, and Nature itself; its Sacrificial Lamb
is Democracy; and its vilest of Heathens is the Common Good of all.
What we have here is the Theology for the millennium. A Fundamentalist
Theocracy with which to rule the world. There can be no dissent.
Our vision of Heaven is: Disney buys all media
outlets and controls all news media worldwide with Mickey Mouse as anchor
and Goofy as the investigative reporter.
Our vision of absolute Hell would be a world
run intelligently and equitably by an educated populace.
© copyright 2002, J. Walter Plinge, France
walt.p@free.fr
Distribute freely if kept intact, including credits,
and not for profit or print media